Axis-Of-Doom or whoever that dude is did that whole Xanga Crushes thing.
That's cool, 'cept I knew I shouldn't have clicked it. Xanga is like the real world. If a guy thinks you're ugly (or unattractive somehow) they'll treat you like shit, if they think you're pretty (or somehow attractive) they won't get off your ass. If a guy is nice to you it just means he's a nice person and is just being polite. These are my life experiences.
Anyway excuse my bitterness but this post is about /my/ Xanga crushes. I feel no need to keep them a secret anymore. I'm not sure if it's wrong to have Xanga Crushes when I have a guy I'm serious about. Either way I feel that there's certain guys on Xanga that I like being around more.
I don't have that many crushes but ...oh well.
Apparently I'm on the fan girl band wagon with this one but Arenadi was my first Xanga crush.
This one might make you laugh but Ricky, I love it when him and I joke. I prefer to talk to him one on one. He does make me feel special.
And of course Chris, he's my newest one. I don't know how I found him, he probably found me first (lol) but I don't know. I think I get gooey over his sincerity and sensitivity. He's cute.
I would never pursue any of these men but if I could meet them in real life I would.
They're actually the same people that comfort me in my lonely days. Hmm.. interesting.
It always happens I'm ready to lose it then he tells me he loves me like he means it and all my anger and frustration is gone I just want to keep those moments forever.
I love him I truly do but there's gaps right now and they feel like canyons.
People can say he's wrong for me or that I'm chasing after heartbreak but this is real.
I know he loves me, he truly does.
I also lost my Prayer Notebook :( so I'm going to write my prayer here.
Dear God,
Please let things get better between Kodi and I please help him understand how much I crave him affection and need his attention. He's my companion, please help me have patience with him. Please help my anxiety attacks to be more bearable. Please teach me to get through my problems with only you by my side. I'm really struggling to get through all the pressure and heartache.
I feel pressured because everyone thinks I'll pass my GED the first time but I don't think so.
I feel heart broken because Kodi and I keep fighting I can get so angry with him but that doesn't mean I love him any less. I just can't deal with him being indifferent.
I love it when him and I joke. I prefer to talk to him one on one. He does make me feel special. 